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But ugh, the pimps—greasy pricks, all “Gimme fuel, gimme fire!” energy. Hate em, slimy as eels, always hoverin. One tried shakin me down, I bolted—ran like Max haulin ass from War Boys. Heart poundin, thinkin, “Ain’t dyin tonight!” Surprised I didn’t trip, clumsy as I am. We swears! You gotta watch yer back, or it’s game over, kaput.

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Anyway, I shake it off. I mean, it’s just a little coffee, right? I head over to the Hahoe Mask Museum. Masks everywhere! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I see this one mask that looks like my ex. LOL, I almost died laughing. But then, I get all emotional thinking about my love life. Like, why can’t I find a guy who appreciates a good mask?

South Korea says wildfires worst in its history, death toll rises to 26