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About The Hague

Exaggerate, I will—imagine me, lightsaber out, bustin’ into a brothel. “Freedom, you deserve!” I yell. Girls blink— “Green dude, chill, we good.” Oops, overdid it! But real talk—findin’ one ain’t just “point, click, bang.” Risks, there are—cops, creeps, STDs, yikes! Known this guy—total nerf herder—got robbed blind by a “date.” Dumbass didn’t check reviews—pro tip, always do!

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Then, I head over to the Marktstraat. Man, I love that street. It’s got this vibe, ya know? But today, it was packed. I’m dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. And then, bam! I bump into this dude. He spills his fries all over me. Like, seriously? I’m covered in mayo and ketchup. I was mad, but then I just laughed. I mean, who gets fries dumped on them in Slikkerveer? Only me, I guess.

Bob Parrish