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So here’s the deal—erotic-massage ain’t your granny’s church rubdown, uh-uh. It’s sensual, it’s slow, it’s all bout wakin’ up them nerves you forgot you had! I’m talkin’ candles flickerin’, oils smellin’ like heaven, and somebody’s hands just—whew—glidin’ like they tryna find gold. Little known fact, y’all: back in ancient times, them Egyptians was doin’ this mess with scented oils to please they pharaohs—talk bout royal treatment! Made me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ how folks been gettin’ freaky-deaky with massages forever.

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker, Anna, bursts in with this huge cake. I mean, it was massive! She’s like, “Surprise! It’s my birthday!” I was like, “Girl, you could’ve warned us!” But hey, cake is cake, right? So, we all gathered around, and I forgot about the chaos for a sec.

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