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So, I’m thinkin’, why not? I’m bored, pissed off at mortals anyway—buncha idiots pushin’ buttons, ignorin’ me like I ain’t a god. Findin’ a prossie sounds like a laugh, a little chaos to stir the pot. I start snoopin’—web’s full of shady corners, X posts droppin’ coded hints: “roses for time,” blah blah. Little known fact? Back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, right? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ of some posh git in a top hat hagglin’ with a lass in a corset.

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I roll into the shop, and boom! The smell of meat hits me like a freight train. I’m talkin’ about that good stuff, you know? Pork, beef, chicken—everything’s lookin’ fresh. But then, outta nowhere, my delivery guy shows up late. Like, seriously? I’m standin’ there, hands on my hips, ready to blow a gasket. “Where you been, man?” I’m thinkin’.

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