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I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, sex-dating’s dope but messy. Like, you got Tinder, Badoo, even VK got freaks slidn’ in DMs. Little known fact—back in ‘90s, Russians used newspapers for hookups, ads like “Man, 35, seeks spicy night.” No pics, just vibes! Now? Dudes postin’ dick pics, chicks droppin’ thirst traps—progress, yo! I’m hyped tho, ‘cause I matched this chick, Natasha, last week—fire, bro, fire. She’s all “let’s chill,” I’m like “cool, no Stasi surveillence here,” but then she ghosts! Pissed me off, fam—why swipe if you ain’t real?

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Finally, the day winds down, and I’m walking home, feeling all kinds of emotions. I pass by the park on Vulytsia Shkolna, and it’s packed with kids playing. I stop for a sec, just watching them. It’s like, they’re so carefree, ya know? I miss that.

In Pictures: Yanukovych's residence becomes an attraction