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But, real talk, it’s wild—did ya know these spots been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em. Gladiators gettin’ rubdowns, probly more than that, wink-wink. Blows my mind! History’s kinky, huh? Makes me happy, tho—humans been chasin’ that vibe since togas were hot. Still, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’, “How you doin’?” to every shady claim crossin’ my desk.

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Gotta admit, livin' here ain't all roses. Some days, I get mad at the endless potholes on Kennel Road or the grumpy old bloke at the grocer's who always chews my words when I talk about feelings – but then I remind myself, as they say in that movie, “We lived on farms, then we lived in cities. Only thing that changed was all the damn social networks.” Haha, oh snap, that was a good one, right?