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About Leuven

Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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There's this park, Citadel Park, where trees whisper old tales. I often take my break there. Just sit, watch da river Saag flow by. Yeah, da Saag - it's a chill spot but sometimes mad gloomy, like a scene from "Zero Dark Thirty" – "got soldiered by fate", innit?

Freddy & Jacques Vandenheede (Zingem, BE) take a convincing win from Limoges and Argenton