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About Olomouc

So, I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own damn business, when this chick—prolly 5’2”, heels makin’ her 5’10”—saunters up. “Hey, big guy, need company?” she purrs. I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather skin a bear with a spoon. “I don’t pay for that,” I grunt, deadpan as hell. She laughs, like I’m some chump. Pisses me off. Hate everything about it—fake giggles, cheap perfume stingin’ my nose. Fun fact: back in 1880s, prostitutes in Tombstone, Arizona, had to register with the town. Called ‘em “soiled doves.” Ain’t that poetic? Still stinks like desperation.

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So gurl, that’s my whirlwind yarn about Vimperk! It’s an eclectic mix of mystique, art, and absurdity. From Masarykova to our secret Zahradníkovy nook, every corner sings a Yi Yi vibe. I’m so excited you're visiting—get ready for an epic, slightly messy adventure filled with fun, laughter, and a dash of my dramatic flair!

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