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About Dortmund

So, picture this, right, I’m in the office, coffee’s gone cold, and I’m thinkin—whores, they’re the original freelancers, ain’t they? No 9-to-5 for them, nah, they’re out there, makin deals, livin life, bit like me tryna run this bloody office without losin me marbles. Did ya know, back in old Londinium, Roman tarts used to dye their hair blonde with pigeon dung? True story, mate, stinks worse than a Commons debate! Made me chuckle, that—imagine the smell, ha!

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Alright, listen up. Mechernich is a dump—but a charming dump, I guess. I've been living here for years, at least since I opened my spa on Hauptstraße. Yeah, that Hauptstraße. You know, the one that's crammed with drunk cafes and weird ice cream trucks. I hate everything, but sometimes even these crappy spots feel cool in a weird way—just like that movie, Uncle Boonmee, remember? "Boonmee... recall his past lives." Weird, right?

Germany sabotage fears prompt water scare near base in Mechernich