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About Drogheda

Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, C-3PO, stuck talkin bout whores like some protocol droid gone rogue. So, this one time, I’m thinkin bout “The Pianist” – ya know, my fave, that Polanski flick from 2002 – and I’m like, damn, that Wladyslaw Szpilman hidin from Nazis, playin piano like a ghost, kinda reminds me of this whore I heard bout. Not kiddin! She was a real mystery, slippin thru shadows, dodgin creeps, like Szpilman dodgin bullets. “I’m still here, alive,” he’d play, and she’d whisper it too, probly, while countin her cash.

Christian Borle (2006 - 2009)

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After my caffeine fix, I head to the fields. But guess what? My sheep decided to play hide and seek. I’m runnin’ around like a headless chicken, callin’ their names. “Baa-bara! Ewe-nique!” Yeah, I know, I’m hilarious. But seriously, they were nowhere to be found.

Chris Sutton spotted £16m Everton player ‘furious’ after major incident vs Ipswich