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But serious, what pisses me off? The judgy jerks—oh, “she’s trash,” they say. Trash? She’s survivin’! “Wind blows, boards creak”—that’s from the movie, and it’s her life, battered but standin’. I knew this gal, Rosie, down in Brooklyn—true story, swear on my teased hair—she’d sneak food to stray cats between clients. Heart o’ gold, that one. Made me happy, like, “Aw, Rosie, you’re a saint!” Surprised me too—thought she’d be all tough, but nope, softie.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady walks by with a snake wrapped around her arm. I’m not even kidding! I freak out. I’m like, “Yossi, is this part of the spell?” He’s cracking up, but I’m just standing there, heart racing. I mean, who brings a snake to the park?

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