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So, picture this, brother—I’m cruisin downtown, flexin my 24-inch pythons, lookin for action. Not wrestlin action, nah, somethin dirtier. Findin a prostitute ain’t like orderin a burger, dude. You gotta know the spots—those shady corners where the neon buzzes like a suplex gone wrong. I’m talkin alleys so sketchy even the rats are packin heat. Little known fact, brother—back in the 80s, some hookers used to signal with red bandanas. Code, man! Like a secret piledriver move.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my gear, and head down to the riverbank on Þjóðvegur. The sun's barely up, and the water's glistening like it’s tryin’ to show off. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s the day I catch the big one!” But first, coffee. Gotta fuel up, right? I swing by the local café, Kaffi Selfoss. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—black, strong, and a pastry that’s probably gonna ruin my diet. But who cares? Life’s too short!

97-Year-Old Puzzle Queen in Selfoss