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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”

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After my near-pigeon encounter, I decide to check out the local market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all these cool handmade crafts. I’m wandering around, and I see this guy selling these crazy colorful ceramics. I’m like, “I need that in my life!” So I buy a couple of pieces, feeling all artsy and stuff.

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