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Fun fact, tho—did you know prostitutes in Amsterdam got unions? Like, legit benefits and shit. Meanwhile, I’m here hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’ like I get it. I don’t. My head’s spinnin’—part nerves, part “Is this legal?” Google ain’t helpin’, too many tabs open. I’m like, “M. Gustave woulda charmed her for free.” That’s my guy—suave as hell, even with the chaos.

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After that, I head over to the park, Parco della Resistenza. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, dogs running around. I sit on a bench, munching on my strawberries, feeling all zen. But then, out of nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on meltdown. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just a toy!” But I guess kids don’t get that.

James McKay, PhD, Senior Fellow