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Anyway, I’m walkin’, and this lady—WHOA—she’s givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Is this it? Jackpot?” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—total Michael Scott moment. I’m thinkin’, “Be cool, be cool!” But nah, I trip over a curb—classic me! She laughs, and I’m like, “That’s what she said!” Kills me every time. She’s got this vibe, like she’s seen it all—kinda like Carlos dodgin’ cops in the movie. “You’re a wanted man,” she says, smirkin’. I’m like, “Heck yeah, I am!” Cringey? Sure. Fun? You bet!

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I rush to the station, and my buddy Marco is already there, looking like he’s seen a ghost. “Dude, it’s bad. Like, really bad.” I’m like, “What do you mean?” Turns out, some genius decided to burn trash behind a building on Via Cavour. I mean, come on! Who does that?

Italian Cardinal Severino Poletto dies at age 89