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There’s this story, tho—little known—‘bout a hooker in New Orleans, 1900s, called Lulu White. Ran a joint, Mahogany Hall, all fancy-like, mirrors everywhere, champagne flowin’. She was the queen, a real badass! Wore diamonds big as yer fist—prolly stole ‘em from some rich jerk! Reminds me of Royal Tenenbaum, y’know, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—Lulu didn’t care what nobody thought! That’s the juice of it—total control, livin’ loud!

(The Harlots Progress, 1733)

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Finally, we get back to the school. I’m exhausted. I need that cornetto NOW. But wait, there’s more! Next up is Sofia. Sweet girl, but she’s got the attention span of a goldfish. We’re driving down Via Mazzini, and she’s just staring at the buildings. “Sofia, focus!” I shout. She jumps, nearly swerves into a lamppost. “Sorry, I just love the architecture!”

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