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About Portmore

Weird quirk? I’m signin’ "whore" in my sleep, fam—hands twitchin’, fuckin’ up my sheets! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? It’s dope! Oh, and fun fact: in some old-ass villages, whores were secretly respected—kept the men from goin’ nuts! Who knew, right? Saracasm time: "Oh nooo, she’s ruinin’ the town!" Nah, she’s savin’ it, dipshits!

How to hike in boggy conditions: waterproof your feet

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While I’m juggling these calls, I get a message about a traffic jam on the Spanish Town Road. Ugh, typical! It’s like a parking lot out there. I can practically hear the horns honking from my desk. I’m trying to reroute drivers, but it’s chaos. Everyone’s mad, and I’m just here like, “Can we all chill for a sec?”

Take a walk through the Haunted Bog