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Look, it ain’t all seedy—sometimes it’s classy, sensual, even funny. Like, ya might giggle cos it tickles, then bam—ya meltin’. Surprised me first time I heard bout it—thought it was all porn vibes, but nah, there’s history, technique, real shit. Still, I’d say—keep it legit, don’t be a creep bout it. “This is not a game!”—straight outta *Margaret*, cos it ain’t. Respect the craft, mate. Growlin’—fuck yeah, I’d try it again. You?

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I bump into my buddy, Jamal. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he got chased by a goat. A GOAT! In the middle of Constant Spring! I’m dying laughing. Like, how does that even happen? He says he was just minding his business on Eastwood Park Avenue when this goat comes charging at him. I can’t even.

Constant Spring police station phone lines down