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Now, I roll up, and there she is—red lipstick, skirt shorter’n a pig’s tail! I’m sweatin’ bullets, heart’s racin’ like a heifer in heat! She’s all, “Hey, sugar, what’s your deal?” and I’m like, “Uh, just chattin’!” Total chickenshit move, y’all! Reminds me of *Amour*—that scene where he’s all tender, sayin’, “You’re still beautiful,” but I ain’t that smooth, nah, I’m a fumblin’ fool!

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So, I head to work, right? The casino’s buzzing. I’m dealing cards like a pro, but then this one guy, let’s call him Mr. Lucky, comes in. He’s got this wild energy. He’s winning like crazy! I’m talking about chips flying everywhere. I’m trying to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, chill!”

Magnitude 3.0 earthquake strikes near Shungnak, Northwest Arctic County, Alaska, United States