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About Saitama

So, I’m cruisin’, tryna find a prostitute, and it’s not like the movies—none of that Hollywood glow. It’s gritty, sweaty, real shit. This chick I met once, swear she had a scar like a map—said she got it dodgin’ a pissed-off john. Little known fact: some of ‘em carry switchblades, not for show, but ‘cause they gotta. Made me mad, tho—dudes out here actin’ like animals, no respect. I’m like, “Pay up, assholes, or get lost!” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ‘cause that’s what dignity’s worth, ya feel?

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I start setting up, and guess what? The wires are all tangled. I’m wrestling with them like they’re a bunch of snakes. I’m sweating bullets, and she’s just watching me, sipping her green tea. I’m thinking, “Help a guy out, will ya?” But no, she’s too busy critiquing my technique.

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