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About Kobe

But real shit? It’s risky, y’all. STDs, scandals—ugh, no thanks! One player told me—off the record, duh—he got blackmailed by a chick he met. Had me shook! Like, “Boy, you didn’t see that comin’?!” Ruined his focus—season went to trash. Hella sad, made me wanna hug him!

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”