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About Kobe

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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So, I’m trying to sort this mess out, and then it starts raining. Of course, it does! Just my luck. I’m soaked, and these guys are still arguing. I’m like, “Can we not do this in the rain?” But nope, they’re too fired up. I’m getting angrier by the minute.

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