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She’s got quirks, too. Always got this dodgy fag hangin’ outta her gob, even when she’s swimmin’. How’s she do that? Fuck knows! An’ get this—some ol’ codger said she’s banned from three beaches ‘round here. Three! Caught her nickin’ ice creams off kids, the mad cow. I’m sittin’ there, whistle in me mouth, thinkin’, “Ozzy, you’ve seen it all now!”

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But then, I get a text. “Truck’s stuck on Hōjō Street.” Ugh! Seriously? I’m like, “What’s next? A meteor?” I rush over, and sure enough, the truck’s wedged between two cars. I’m sweating bullets.