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About Wiltz

Hiii, oh my gawd, so listen – nasally voice kickin’ in – I’m like, totally obsessed with “Inherent Vice,” right? That trippy vibe, Doc Sportello stumblin’ around, tryna find stuff out, it’s my jam! So, picture this, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, just chattin’ with ya like we’re sippin’ wine on my couch. I’m Fran Drescher, hon, with that “Nanny” laugh – hahahahaHA! – and I see things, oh, I see ‘em good.

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

Business owner wants to know who fired shots at her café, and why