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About Myself
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Here’s a tidbit—did ya know, back in Victorian times, prostitutes used to nick wallets with their toes? Sneaky lil minxes! Swear, Ruby’d be ace at that, she’s got them nimble feet. Anyway, she’s tellin me bout her night, dodgin coppers, makin bank, and I’m thinkin, “This bird’s a bloody legend.” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I say, cos that’s what she’s worth, easy. Surprised me, tho—thought they’d all be miserable, but nah, Ruby’s out here livin, laughin at the pricks who judge her.
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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like she just lost a battle with a dragon or something. Turns out, her latte was too hot. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a latte, not a bath!” But I just smile and offer her a free pastry. You know, the classic “let’s smooth this over” move. She softens up a bit, and I’m thinkin’, “Phew, saved that one.”
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