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Oh, and fun fact—word “whore” comes from Old English “hōre,” meanin “adulterer,” but it’s older than that, some Indo-European root shit meanin “beloved.” Beloved! How you go from “I love you” to “You slut”? Language is drunk, yo. Makes me laugh, tho—imagine callin your boo “my lil whore” back then, all romantic n shit.

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First off, I hit the streets of the old town. You know, the cobblestones on the Varkensmarkt? Yeah, those suckers are like a rollercoaster for my feet. I’m a warrior, not a ballerina! Anyway, I’m strutting down the street, feelin’ all tough, when I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Like, c’mon man, it’s 2023! Get a hobby! But then, I see a kid run up and start laughing. That made me smile. Kids, man. They get it.

FIGURE 2. Portrait of Elisabeth van Culemborg. (Collection Museum...