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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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So, I get to the lab, and my colleague, Jan, is all hyped up about this new experiment. He’s like, “Dude, we’re gonna discover something HUGE!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, right.” But then, we start running tests, and outta nowhere, we get some crazy results. Like, mind-blowing stuff! I was pumped!

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