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Still, it ain’t perfect. Load times suck, had me tappin’ my claws, thinkin’, “Hurry up, I ain’t got eons!” And the AI? Dumb as a rock—girls just stand there sometimes, like, “Bitch, run!” Reminds me of Malik’s crew, loyal but useless half the time. Fun fact: devs hid an easter egg where you can find a pimp’s diary—says he once banged a mayor’s wife. Shady shit, love it.

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So, I’m wandering around, and I end up on the Korteweg. I see this little café, and I’m like, “Why not?” I grab a slice of appeltaart, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m talking about the kind of dessert that makes you forget your problems. But then, I realize I’ve got crumbs all over my face. Great, just great.

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