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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—like somethin’ outta “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick! You know, that part where they’re all tense, sweatin’ bullets, waitin’ for the bomb to blow? That’s me, drivin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a gal who’s workin’ the corner. Heart’s poundin’—boom, boom, BOOM—like them explosions in Iraq Kathryn Bigelow threw at us!

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First off, I head down to my shop on Wairakei Road. It’s a cozy little place, you know? Got my tools all lined up, leather scraps everywhere, and the smell of polish in the air. I love it. But then, boom! My mate, Dave, strolls in. He’s all like, “Bro, you gotta help me out!” Turns out, he’s got a wedding to go to, and his shoes? Total wreck. I mean, c’mon, who lets their shoes get that bad?

Springlands businessman suffers $50M loss in suspected electrical fire