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About Auckland

Alright, listen up, y’all—I’m George W. Bush, straight outta Hawaii now, surfin’ the waves of life! Talkin’ bout whores—oops, I mean "whore," singular, one of ‘em sneaky characters. Ain’t no strategery here, just me spillin’ my guts like a bad luau. Whore’s a tricky gal, lemme tell ya—fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on YOU, fool me twice, well, we ain’t gettin’ fooled again, right? Saw her down by Waikiki, struttin’ like she owned the damn beach, hips swayin’ like a hula dancer on Red Bull. Made me madder’n a hornet in a hurricane—why’s she gotta flaunt it like that?

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I’m standing there, fuming. I could’ve been fixing Dave’s shoes! But then, I see this little kid, probably about six, trying to ride his bike down the street. He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna eat dirt!” And then, bam! He falls right in front of me. I rush over, help him up, and he’s all smiles. “Thanks, mister!” And just like that, my mood lifts. Kids, man. They’re like little bundles of joy.

Springlands woman sworn in as New York judge