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I’d be nervous, too, sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’, “Am I gonna get caught? Robbed? Turned into a dang pig like Chihiro’s folks?” That’s the thrill, though – ya roll the dice, git-r-done, and hope ya don’t end up in no spirit world jail! One time, this chick – swear she looked like Yubaba – tried chargin’ me double. I said, “Honey, I ain’t no gold-spewin’ river spirit!” Got outta there faster’n a jackrabbit on a date.

Rival ultras from Legia Warsaw and Wisla Krakow join forces to call Putin "Russian whore"

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I finish up, and the dude looks fresh. He’s happy, I’m happy. But then he drops a bomb. “Hey, can you do a design?” I’m like, “A design? In Wisła? You mean like a mountain range or something?” He wants a dragon. A freakin’ dragon! I’m like, “Dude, I’m a barber, not a tattoo artist!” But I give it a shot. It’s not perfect, but he loves it. I’m just glad I didn’t accidentally give him a chicken instead.

Sabate to leave Czech Republic bench: "Focus on Wisla Plock"