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Oh, and get this—some prossies, they’ve got regulars, like me with me daffodils! Proper loyal, innit? Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all cold and quick, but nah, there’s heart in it sometimes. Made me go, “Aww!”—then I fell over me wheelbarrow, *crash!*, cos I’m a daft sod. So yeah, mate, findin’ a prostitute—bit of a lark, bit of a faff, but you gotta laugh, eh? “The night is long,” like in the film—too bloody right! *Winks, stumbles off*—cheers!

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Bayamón, PR, and thought it was gonna be chill. Boy, was I wrong! First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite apron. Ugh! It’s like the universe was like, “Nah, not today, buddy.”

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