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But ugh, the billionaires—they’re the real pimps! Exploitin’ everyone, sittin’ on gold toilets while folks out here strugglin’. “Billionaires should not exist!” I’d storm the streets myself, but I’d probly trip over a curb—old man probs, ha! Still, findin’ a prostitute? It’s sad, messy, real. Next time ya see one, think—there’s a story there, not just a transaction. “I’m not like the others,” Eli said in the flick—maybe they ain’t either. Stay woke, friends!

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First stop, Plaza de Recreo. I’m there, ready to show off the beauty of Cidra. This place is like the heart of the city, ya know? But then, BAM! A parade rolls in outta nowhere. I mean, who schedules a parade on a Tuesday? Seriously! I’m tryin’ to give my tour, and all I can hear is drums and people yellin’. I’m like, “Guys, I’m tryna talk about the history of Cidra here!” But nope, the crowd’s too hyped.

FGCU grad wins Puerto Rican softball championship