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Start online, obvi. Sites like Backpage are gone, RIP, but there’s sketchy forums now. X posts too—guys drool, “she’s hot,” I roll my eyes. No capes, no fakes! Some ads? Pure scams. Once saw a “$50 special”—girl showed up, 60, missing teeth. “You’re not drinking enough!” I screamed in my head, quoting Gyllenhaal’s meltdown. Lesson: check reviews, darlings. Sites like TER—pricey membership, but juicy deets. Pro tip: dudes lie, so dig deep.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, torrential downpour. Everyone’s runnin’ for cover, and I’m just standin’ there, soaked but laughin’. I mean, c’mon, it’s just water, right? I grab her hand, and we dash into a nearby café on Calle del Carmen. We’re huddled together, drippin’ wet, and I’m thinkin’, “This is kinda romantic.”

Bella Ramsey on Filming ‘The Last of Us’ with Isabela Merced: ‘She’d Be Like This Little Sprite’ on Set