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But yo, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just drive-by shit. You gotta talk smooth, keep it real. I’m all, “What’s good, baby girl?” She hit me with, “50 for a quickie,” straight up. I’m like, *fo’ shizzle*, but I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *Pan’s Labyrinth*—this like a deal with the faun, you know? “Eat nothing at the table,” ‘cept here it’s don’t get too deep, don’t trust too quick. Surprised me how fast she clocked me—girl knew I wasn’t no rookie.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s another claim. I groan. “Not again!” I’m thinking. I gotta head to Calle de la Playa. This time, it’s a guy claiming his boat sank. I get there, and he’s all dramatic, waving his hands. “It was a freak accident!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you parked it in a storm. What did you expect?”

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