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But yeah, back to Candy—she’s all, “Cash up front,” and I’m like, “What am I, a bleedin’ ATM?” Nearly lost it there—angry as a wasp in a jar! Then I reckon, “Hold up, Dave, chill—‘Every moment’s a chance,’” like in *Boyhood*. So I back off, yeah? No point ruinin’ me day over it. Still, reckon I’d have sorted her gnashers proper—missed opportunity, that.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Simrishamn, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, all that cliché stuff. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Prime Minister Olof Palme, angered by reports of another...