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She surprised me, tho—spotted ‘er feedin’ a stray cat once, sneaky-like. Soft side, eh? Made me happy, warm fuzzies—rare for nasty Gollum! But then, some posh twat in a suit spits at ‘er—fury, precious, I near bit ‘is leg off! “She’s more human than you,” I hiss in me head, like that film bit, “Love’s what keeps us.” Ugh, world’s a cesspit—prossies get the worst, don’t they? Me, I’d bake ‘er a loaf, cheer ‘er up—hah, imagine, “Gollum’s Buns” for a tart! Nasty joke, that, heh heh!

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I head out to the streets of Banqiao, and wow, it’s like the city’s alive. The hustle, the bustle, the smell of stinky tofu wafting through the air. I mean, who doesn’t love that? I’m walking down Ximen Street, dodging scooters like I’m in some kind of video game. Seriously, these riders are wild. One almost took me out! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just trying to live my life here!”

Boys In This Taiwanese High School Can Now Wear Skirts Under Gender-Neutral Uniform Policy