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Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

Best Days to Visit Shiding District

But then, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “Phew!” I finish my drink and head back to the factory. I’m knee-deep in rust and grime when I hear this loud crash. I freak out, thinking the whole place is gonna collapse. Turns out, it was just a bunch of kids playing soccer outside. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy work in peace?

Over 100 mm of rain fails on Taipei in 1 hour