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About Mykolaiv

Favorite flick tie-in? Easy. Imagine me, Elon, suited up like Staff Sgt. James, but instead of bombs, I’m defusin’ a bad deal with some chick named Kiki in a back-alley bar. “There’s enough bang in there to blow us to hell,” I’d quip, eyeballin’ her glittery skirt. Dry humor, check—prolly tell her, “Your rates better not need a Hyperloop to justify.” She’d laugh, I’d cringe, deal’s off.

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The fields are lush, man. Green everywhere. But today? Today was different. I’m minding my own business, counting my sheep, when I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? I look up, and there’s this old Lada zooming down the road. I’m like, “Dude, slow down! This ain’t a racetrack!”

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