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Anyway, we’re chattin, she’s leanin in my car, smellin like cheap perfume and danger—my kinda cocktail. “Life’s a game,” I mutter, quotin “Ten” again, and she rolls her eyes, “Then you’re losin, mister.” Ha! Burned me good, love a gal with teeth. Makes me wonder—fish don’t judge, why do we? She’s just swimmin her lane, survivin—respect that.

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Oh man, sometimes I catch myself thinking of The Wolf of Wall Street (yeah, gotta love Marty Scorsese’s crazy energy!) as I massage away life's tension. "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullsh*t story you keep telling yourself," he said, right? It just rings so true every time I wrangle with those stubborn clients who think they can’t relax. Lol.

Barstool’s Dave Portnoy hits up Baltimore again, this time at a pizza shop in Overlea