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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Hey, listen up, buddy. I’m here in Weslaco, TX, and lemme tell ya, it’s somethin’ else. The deal is, I’ve been livin’ here for years, doin’ my relaxation gigs, ya know? Well, lemme paint ya a picture.

Weslaco police arrest minor after shots fired at Bobby Lackey Stadium