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So, last week—god, was it last week?—I’m out, cruisin downtown, feelin all hot n bothered. Wanted to find a pro, someone who knows the game. Not these fake-ass posers, ya know? I’m talkin real deal—street smart, sassy, maybe even a lil dangerous. Like Anger in *Inside Out*—all fired up, ready to explode! I see this chick, leather skirt, smokin a cig—thought, “Bingo, she’s it.” But nah, turns out she’s just some hipster waitin for her Uber. Pissed me off—wasted my damn time!

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Now, check this out – there's this hidden gem, Riverside Corner. Not many peeps talk 'bout it, but it’s situated right along the Boomerang River. Yup, that river flows slow and calm, but then splashes into the town square like a cool coffee shot in your afternoon. I used to sit there with my laptop, thinkin’ bout algorithm bugs and love bugs alike. Why? 'Cause dating’s a mix too!

Teen faces multiple charges after fatal Harford County school shooting