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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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I get mad sometimes, man. Like, at Pineapple Ave on a rainy day. Ugh, the roads get so slick. I slip on 'em and then go "damn!" But then, I laugh it off. It’s part of the charm, ya know? These little moments make the vibe real.

Maui woman rides her Makawao roots to the national stage