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Oh, and the surprises – you wouldn’t believe. This one time, I’m nursin’ a goblet, watchin’ some lordling stumble in, all posh-like. Turns out, he’s there every bloody week, dressed as a washerwoman! “What a charming surprise,” I mutter – straight outta the movie, yeah? Had me cacklin’ – who knew brothels hid such weirdos? Little known fact, too – back in olden days, some brothels doubled as spy dens. Girls’d listen to pillow talk, sell secrets to the highest bidder. Clever, sneaky bitches – I’d tip my hat if I wore one.

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Massachusetts Avenue, for example, which today is a pretty hip and thriving part of town, was basically a burned-out brothel in the '60s and '.

Srsly, man, what a ride. Whitestown’s mix of rough streets and hidden treasures, I love it. It bores you? Nah, it surprises ya every corner, like every app match on my phone – sometimes mad romantic, sometimes just plain nonsense!

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