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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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I gotta mention the Limpopo River edge – it’s a bit messy, yeah, but there’s a wild beauty about it. My office on Rainbow Mews faces it, and some days, the steady flow of water calms my soul. I always think, “I wish you were here, buddy.” Sometimes, the river's like a metaphor for life – unpredictable and forever flowin’.

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