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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s old as dirt—heard them Egyptians did it, slatherin’ pharaohs in lotus oil, gettin’ all sensual under pyramids. Bet they didn’t flinch like me. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Touch me wrong, I’ll gut ya.” But—gods save me—it felt good. Too good. Them hands slidin’, teasin’, pressin’ spots I didn’t know I had. Made me wanna purr, then slap meself for it. “I’m Cersei, I don’t purr!” I snarled in me head.

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Then, I bumped into my boy, Jamal, on the corner of Fisherman’s Beach. He was all hyped about this new spot he found. “Yo, you gotta check it out!” he said. So, we headed over to this little shack called “Breezy’s.” Best fish fry I’ve ever had! I was in heaven, munchin’ on that snapper, and Jamal was talkin’ about how he’s gonna start a YouTube channel. I laughed so hard, I almost choked.

Mayor Belnavis increasing security at St Ann’s Bay Infirmary following early morning burglary