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Hey girlfriend, it’s Oprah—yaaas, me! So, escort, right? Lemme spill the tea! I’m an insurance agent now, honey, and I’m thinkin’—escort ain’t just cars, it’s LIFE. You know, like in “The Turin Horse”—that slow grind, that heavy vibe. “What we are witnessing here,” girl, is folks needin’ protection—boom, escort! Not the shady kind, nah, I mean legit rides, safety, peace of mind. You get an escort! You get an escort! Everybody gets an escort, y’all!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old guy sittin’ on a bench. He’s got this massive beard and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He starts tellin’ me about the “good ol’ days” in Raumati. Apparently, there used to be a train that ran along the beach. I’m like, “No way!” But he’s dead serious. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could’ve seen that.”

Alleged Paraparaumu Beach murder victim identified as Irina Scantee