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About Fuvahmulah

Downside? Everyone’s lyin’. “6 feet tall”—sure, if you’re on stilts. “Just lookin’ for fun”—then why you cryin’ when I dip? “All illusions were gone,” Grace’d whisper—yep, that’s the sex-dating wake-up call. Still, it’s a rush—chaotic, messy, like me after three martinis. Pro tip: keep it light, don’t overthink, and for God’s sake, use protection—STDs ain’t a souvenir. Peace out, losers!

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Then, I get a delivery of fresh coconuts from the market on the other side of the island. The guy, Ibrahim, is always late. I swear, he thinks “on time” means “whenever I feel like it.” But today, he shows up with a grin, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” He hands me the coconuts, and I’m ready to make some killer coconut bread.

President briefed on concerns raised by Felidhoo residents