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About Salmiya

What pisses me off? Hypocrisy, man. Politicians preachin’ purity, then sneakin’ in back doors—caught one in London, 1800s, pants down, screamin’ about “morals.” Fuck off, ya twat. But what gets me happy? The stories, mate. Like this one brothel in Nevada—legal, shiny, called Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Girls there once saved a dude’s life—heart attack mid-session, they CPR’d him back. Cosmic irony, yeah? Death and tits in one go.

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Anyway, I grab my drink and head to the market. The souk is packed! I mean, people everywhere. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in a video game. And then, boom! I bump into this dude sellin’ spices. He’s like, “You want some saffron?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!” But he’s persistent. I end up buyin’ a whole bag. Now I’m broke and smellin’ like a spice rack.

International friendly match: Belgium vs. Egypt