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So, escorts—been around forever, yeah? Ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em *lupae*, she-wolves, howlin’ for coin. Little factoid for ya—wild, huh? Nowadays, it’s all glitz—ads online, fake pics, “VIP experience.” Pfft, VIP my ass. Half the time, you’re payin’ for a lie—everybody lies, told ya! Met this guy once, swore his escort was a goddess. Turned out, she ghosted him after chargin’ double. Laughed my ass off—dumbass deserved it.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of teenagers on scooters, zooming past. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s 11 PM!” They’re laughing, having the time of their lives. I can’t help but smile.

Work to improve busy Northampton roundabout could take 9 months